Dragonfly's Mind

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Bottled Up

Thanks to uber-bloggers like Neoporcupine who raise important points, Dragonfly's Mind can comment on current real-world issues that concern her and the many prisoners of society such as yourself. The Australasian Bottled Water Institute (ABWI) needs to back up their claims with SCIENTIFIC research. And statements such as: "Benefits of Good Hydration" .... "Protection - Cancer Research!" leads me to believe the Institute's head honcho has nothing more than rocks in his head and a marketing officer that flunked uni. The 'Institute' sounds more like a CORPORATION. Corporations are about money. Making lots of money. They are greedy, pretentious and often misleading. The fact that "the ABWI recommends bottled water as a safe and reliable alternative" implies that not only is filtered water potentially harmful, but so too is the normal tap water that we generally consume on a daily basis. What rot! Seriously, if it was the Institute's best interest to provide the public with safer alternatives, then essentially one would assume that extensive scientific testing was conducted prior to making bogus claims such as this: "By purchasing water from an ABWI accredited bottler, you can be guaranteed every drop you consume is safe and sanitary."


Translation
: "By buying the product, the man and his followers get richer while you sip on bottled water that you could have simply drunk from a tap." Of course the act of drinking directly from a tap is unsightly for a lady and perhaps this is the reason why some of the more stylish women are carrying bottled water by Evian. Evian is a producer of mineral water from the French Alps. Ooooooo, fancy huh? It is also "your natural source of youth ™." Wow! And if you're still not impressed, they even offer the Evian Brumisateur and skin products to complement the bottled water to fuel your never ending quest for eternal youth. Puhleeeaaasssse!!!!!!! What a load of rubbish! A few years back there were stories about celebrities ONLY bathing in Evian water. Ok sure, knowing that you're bathing in water from France might make you feel special (and better than everyone else), but it's not really much use if you are planning to pollute it with your favourite bubble bath mix from Japan. It's a waste of money really. Are you not aware that little Somalian kids are dying from dehydration?! Ignorance is bliss. Anyways, most celebrities are pretty stupid. Literally, attractive but intellectually defunct. Think Jessica Simpson & Paris Hilton. More often than not, they are pure representations of products that you don't need... you know, the infamous Louis Vuitton bags. Errgh!!

Remember that behind every celebrity is a man. The man. A devious man that undoubtedly works for a corporation. A corporation that hires uneducated people with big mouths to run money grabbing unresearched so-called 'Institutes' that mislead consumers into believing they need to buy THEIR products. Unless a product is supported by substantial scientific evidence that states in writing to be truly beneficial towards my bodily functions, then I won't buy it. Nor will I be persuaded by ridiculous marketing campaigns that use superficial celebrities and unnecessary sexual themes to promote useless crap that I do not need.

On occasion, I have been forced to buy bottled water. In terms of taste, there's really no difference (oh, unless you compare it with flavoured waters, which I find utterly revolting!). Most of my friends share similar opinions. In fact, it would seem that the Institute's main competitor is the 'Water Filter'. No wonder they have been silently bitch-slapping filtration methods. How dare they steal customers!! Especially if potential customers like me are smart enough to refill those mega-sized juice bottles with their generous friend's filtered water stash!! Muuawahaha!! ;)

Dragonfly's advice: Beware of bogus marketing strategies. Find out the facts. Determine whether you actually NEED the product (this is where 'life-or-death' reasoning with oneself comes in handy!). And purchase with confidence. :)

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